Tune in this week...

I've decided that I'm going to pitch a show to the Travel Channel.

I'm sure no one else has had this idea, other than my counterpart who plans on co-hosting our brilliant concept. Actually, in all honesty, it probably was his plan. I just have a crappy enough memory to give him the credit... Dang it.

WHO: Myself and ol' what's his name.
WHAT/WHERE: Traveling the globe, embarking on each national and cultural beverage and food tradition and any associated beliefs, folklore and history.
HOW: Travel checks, obviously.
WHY: To emphasis the importance of food and drink, how they are connected and how they help each other, help me, help you.

Title ideas? I'm not that creative.

The bond between booze and grub is relevant to all!

Note to my nonalcohol consuming friends: Remember that cream sauce you loved or what you're dipping your uncooked foods into at the Melting Pot? There's alcohol in that. There's booze in food and food in booze. It's the circle of life. It's what makes the world go 'round.

Booze n'grub make the world go 'round. Think about it.

Mark Ryan Winery 2006 Water Witch

*Bottle #57: Mark Ryan Winery 2006 Klipsun Vineyard Water Witch
*Price Tag: $32 (discounted), normally $45
*Running Tab: $742

From the viewpoint of an employee for a competing winery in the Woodinville area, you can't help but be a little jealous of Mark McNeilly, owner/winemaker of Mark Ryan Winery. In the Puget Sound region, no one has a bigger cult following than this guy. Wine enthusiasts, critics and fans alike flock to his releases and random weekend appearances in the booming Woodinville warehouse wine district, named "Hoodinville" for its no-frills atmosphere.

Mark, the man, is a huge, cuddly teddy bear, standing high in stature and wide in a huggable, less scary bear sort of way. A newly wed to an about-to-pop bride and seemingly best friends with everyone in the industry and the area, Mark Ryan McNeilly's popularity is equivalent to the local high school's homecoming queen's status. "Rock star," "wine celebrity" and "urban chic" are all descriptors used in his resume. There are "I (Heart) Mark Ryan" t-shirts, for God's sake.

Probably one of the worst Web sites I've seen for some of the best wines I've had. But I'm nitpicky.

Mark Ryan, the wines, are mouthwatering and robust moneymakers; notoriously consumed for their rock-em, sock-em Red Mountain fruit profile. People line up outside his door, just waiting to taste and purchase as much as they can for his limited releases.

Stylisitcally and with his background, it makes sense that I would like a Mark Ryan wine. He trained and got experience at Matthews Cellars, another Woodinville winery whose red wines fit my big wine criteria.

As frequent of a visitor to the Woodinville Wine Country that I am (okay, daily) and as much as his red wines are everything that I have been looking for in these recent reviews, Water Witch was my first Mark Ryan red wine.

Wine pop culture shame!

At 58% Cabernet Sauvignon, 42% Merlot and all from the beautiful Klipsun Vineyard in Red Mountain, the 2006 Water Witch was dark, rich cherry backed with subtle spice instantly dumped out of the nose of this wine, a little tarry and more fig and boysenberry over time for aromas. Serious oak comes out with vanilla and toastiness.

This monster mouthful of "rotten grape juice" (as McNeilly once called it) has official soothed my big needs. I'm a woman.

Smooth but with tannins that scrape the roof of your mouth, this full-bodied red showed detailed plum and leathery dark fruit aided by well-blended acidity. The wine enters almost bittersweet and finishes similar.

This is a nasty witch though, she comes back to get you once you think it's over with young and barbaric tannins in the lingering finish. I think they'll most certainly be there with age, maybe more refined and elegant but just as core-shaking as now.

I appreciate the recommendations for big wines for my lovely readers (YOU DO EXIST!), but I can finally rest. I will probably see Mark, the man, sometime this week and shake his hand. This homecoming queen has my vote.

I (heart) Mark Ryan.

Score: 9.

Slacker.

I am a slacker. I missed last week's review and now you just have to listen to me talk about myself to cover it up. I was really busy, stressed, broke, blah blah blah. I know all of you devout, fanatical readers of mine depend on this review so you know what to drink each week, amiriiigh?

Uh huh.

Anywhosers, still in great pursuit of locating the big f'ing red wine that's going to change my life and I will continue to drink myself silly until I do.

Stay tuned for more action in the progression of my alcoholism as I have an outside source seriously recommending this week's review to be my end all to be all in this search.

We'll see.

In the mean time, I've been drinking a lot of Syrahs, Shiraz nonsense, looking for that full-bodied lady killer and it's been nothing. A wine broker from Melbourne told me to look in the Coonawarra if I want to go the Shiraz route for big, jammy, tarry, darkness of the varietal.

Any recs? Please send away!

Efeste 2005 Big Papa Cabernet Sauvignon

*Bottle #56: Efeste 2005 Columbia Valley Big Papa Cabernet Sauvignon
*Price Tag: $40
*Running Tab: $710

One of my favorite winos in Woodinville, WA wine country is Efeste's Brennon Leighton. Winemaker for the label, Brennon looks to be more likely on a Harley than in a cellar. Painted in tats, massive in size compared to, say, Lou Facelli in his 5'6" frame and usually caught guzzling some sort of alcoholic beverage (I've witnessed a chocolate martini to Limoncello to stout transition), Brennon and his equally large business partner, Patrick Smith are the faces of this equally large Northwest winery.

Speaking of large, the reason why I went with this wine this week was because I am in pursuit of a big, f'ing Cab. I'm talking huge, abrasive, tarry, bad-for-your-lungs tobacco, the darkest fruit around, vuluptous, suck-your-mouth-dry while punching-you-in-the-face kinda Cab Sauv.

Now, most would go looking for such specific Cab in a warmer climate based off of these characteristics than Eastern Washington, but nay! Must support Washington!

Brennon gets a little assistance on the Big Guy from DeLille Cellar's Chris Upchurch. The man is known for making big, robust reds so for my Cab requirements, we're in the clear. Formerly a winemaker for Chateau Ste. Michelle (but who wasn't...), Brennon knows his mass production wine and went the other direction with his Efeste juice, producing much smaller lots.

The Big Papa is 100% Cabernet Sauvignon, which is actually a little rare because it's such a tannic mouthful of a varietal. In my case, I thought: bring it on. Then they throw in 90% new French oak, allowing the already hugely tannic varietal to suck in fresh, hugely tannic oak. Brennon used 100% malolactic fermentation to smooth it out, so you are able to keep your jaw attached after drinking this wine in all its tannic glory.

And finally, these are old vines. Old vines in Washington means 30 years and up (35 years with Kiona Vineyards in Red Mountain and Sagemoor Farms). So older, smaller clusters of grapes creating more concentrated fruit for an already sturdy and concentrated varietal.

All signs point to huge.

Dark fig and plum aromas with a touch of earth on the nose of Big Papa. Dark stoned-fruits, with the actual pit smell coming out, backed by clove and herbal notes. It was questionably stewy smelling (not usually a good characteristic) with pepper and licorice used to cover it up.

All smells point to huge...

All flavors were not as big as I had hoped. A dry attack led to a soft and mildly fruity midpalate at medium+ bodied and velvety smooth. Finishing dry and not overly tannic at all. I was surprised, for mostly new French oak and 100% Cab, this (hypothetically) should have been bigger.

Deep and complex but not big and abrasive. One would call this a beautiful fine. I would call it that but it did not soothe my craving.

I think Alanis Morissette put it melodically as "it's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife." Which isn't exactly irony, it's just more so not what you're looking for. And thus is life.

Score: 7.

How to Stalk Erin

I will be at the inaugural Sip of Snoqualmie, Saturday, March 14th, 6:30pm. I will be pouring for my anonymous winery while trying to play swapsies/score some free wine from other Washington labels that I don't necessarily get to try.


Ones I'm looking forward to, in no particular order...
1) Hightower Cellars
2) Saint Laurent
3) Terra Blanca
4) Sleight of Hand

Sip of Snoqualmie, a benefit for Encompass, a 40-year-old not-for-profit organization that provides preschool services for children with special needs.

The Sip allows guests to try wines from all over the Northwest, speak with the local wineries and enjoy food from the Snoqualmie Casino. A silent auction and raffle will take place with many unique, exciting and high-value items. All proceeds will benefit Encompass.

More! - Da Sip

PS. Erin Loves You

Oh, and it's freaking Washington wine month! Everything that I stand for and more!

Keep reading for updates and whatever else I can stir up for the month. I'm pretty good at getting people to tell me things they aren't supposed to and somehow inviting myself to who's who events (usually working them...) so stay tuned!

GOOOoooo Evergreens!

Cheers,
Erin

I take pictures.

I've been working on getting these pictures off my phone and into a post. Victory!

These are plump and almost ready to pick Pinot Noir grapes from the 2008 harvest, circa October at the Elk Cove Vineyard in Gaston, Oregon.

Same vineyard, just the zoomed out view.

My most prized photgraphic possession. Yes, I got a little help in the aesthetics department, but taken with a lomographic camera, the one single shot is spliced into 4 as you move the camera along. This is from a vineyard in Santa Barbara County that I can not remember for the life of me...

You can't even see, but these are little grape buds on a very early growing vine at Roblar Winery and Vineyard in Santa Ynez, California.

Barrister Winery NV Rough Justice

*Bottle #55: Barrister Winery NV Columbia Valley Rough Justice
*Price Tag: $18
*Running Tab: $670

I'm not going to lie... My tongue might have been a little under the weather for this tasting. I had consumed some wines before and had just recently burnt my tongue on pizza. That being said, I am a completely reliable and unbiased source and you should listen to me. End of story.

I'm also not going to lie... This wine is produced in Spokane, WA. For some of you locals, names such as "Spokompton," "Spokanistan" and "Spokangeles" might come to mind. But nay, ghettolicious titles will not deter my quest for good, cheap wine!

Now there are great things to come out of Spokane, WA... Like Gonzaga U basketball's finest recruit, Adam Morrison, it's the second largest city in the state AND it hosted the 1974 World Fair! See! This wine could be #4!

The ultra-prestigious and accurate (cough) Wine Press Northwest prophesied Barrister Winery to be "one of the Northweset's emerging superstar wineries" and with just under 3,000 cases released in the 2009 vintage, the two cellar masters have definitely grown from daytime attorneys into nighttime garagistes.

Producing small quantities of Bordeaux-style red wines - a familiar tune Washington winemakers like to sing - Barrister keeps its title as a Spokomptonite artisan winemakers - a tune Washington winemakers have started to forget.

Cleverly dubbed "Rough Justice" by two city attorneys, this multi-varietal, multi-vintage blend might have sampled from many other blends' songs. Merlot-based, blended with Cab, Syrah and Cab Franc from such and such Red Mountain vineyards and such and such high-rolling, prominent grape growers' influence. Sounds like a lot of other melodies.

But look at how many Beatles' songs Oasis ripped off and they're still successful!

So how bout it, Spokane?

Sitting in my glass, this wine was nothing special. Her color was a deep burgundy with dark and jammy fruit juicing out of the glass with some hints of clove and cocoa. Swirl and spin her around to this similar tune and she still puts off the same, generic aromas and even a little bit of booze.

Sounds like a girl you'd like to dance with to that same song? Bring her up to your lips and she'll give you the same dark and jammy fruit with a marginally sweet midpalate and an toasted oak finish. Then you'll realize she laced her kiss with an ellicit drug that put your own your ass.

... Almost likewise, the Rough Justice stays true to its name where it's so sweet seeming at first, then it shocks you with moonshine and fierce, almost harsh acidity. I like it when you get a wave of tannins as a wine finishes but a hurricane of acidity is a different hypothetical environmental crisis.

My friend's response to the wine sums it up: "Why does it sting when I swallow it?"

Now flip that in as many dirty ways as you want, sickos, but keep in mind, wine drinking should be a pleasurable experience. This was not.

Score: 3.